Godly Gals ~ Tracee Persiko

Bad at Receiving

By: Tracee Persiko

I am really bad at receiving. 
I’m just gonna be most honest. 
I am not good at saying thank you without cringing when people give to me. I am talking on any level. I easily dismiss words of affirmation by immediately putting words back onto the other person. I mean those words, however, I deflect easily from me. Tangible gifts are hard. I LOVE giving to others, but shrink back when giving is presented to me.

I have been camping out in John chapter 13 this week. This is the chapter where Jesus washes his disciples feet. There is so much packed in to these verses. Well…there is so much packed into any verse, but here is where my tent is.

I am stuck on Peter’s interaction with Jesus. Jesus has just made his way around the circle washing his disciples feet one by one. Stripped down to his bare self, Jesus brings all he has to his friends.

What did Peter think as he watched his master take the tangible position of humility? 

How many times did he mentally rehearse his response for Jesus when it was to be his turn?

The last foot wiped with a holy towel. It was Peter’s turn. I can envision Peter interrupting Jesus with his words of, “No!, you shall never wash my feet!” I wonder what facial expressions Peter received from everyone else? I wonder if he surprised himself with his outburst?

I know I respond with those same words when I am about to receive from someone. I am quick to deflect. Like Peter, I retract my feet close to my body and  say, “no!” If I do that with other people, I know I do that with God. This makes my heart sink.

Jesus responds to Peter in a way that has left my heart pierced. Jesus looks at Peter and says, “unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”


Dismissing his gift leaves me separated from him. 
I see that now. Rejecting reception leaves me disconnected from him.

I know that this stems from deep in me. Not receiving well is a heart issue. For me it’s a self-worth issue. When I dismiss someone’s gift for me, I am in essence saying, “don’t waste your gift on me. Save it for someone better.”

I have so easily forgotten that the point of washing the disciples feet for Jesus was to pass on something to be imitated. We are to “wash each others feet.” When we give to one another, we are showing the love that he asked us to imitate. 

When I dismiss that obedience, I dismiss him. I see how much my dismissal breaks down the connection with another person and with him. I hate that.

Service like washing someone’s feet, and giving, is humbling. It’s supposed to feel humbling. It’s the tangible gift of being a part of him. Washing someone’s feet is a tangible way of being a part of something bigger than ourselves.

When Peter realized that his dismissal of Jesus’ act kept him from being a part of Jesus, he responded with the opposite extreme. Peter did not want to miss out on anything Jesus had for him. Peter surrendered and said, “then Lord, not just my feet, but my hands and head as well!

I have spent too much time in disconnection. I want to take on the response of Peter and surrender. I desire connection as well as being a part of something bigger than me.

What road blocks do you have with receiving?  

A Little Bit About Tracee:
Tracee’s passion comes from her desire to be a woman after God’s own heart. She is a speaker and writer with a master’s in Professional Counseling. She has experience ranging from mentoring homeless men recovering from addiction to speaking to a room full of adolescent girls trying to figure out who they are. 
Tracee never shies away from a dare or potential embarrassing situation. She has been known to dress up in funky outfits and lead skits on stage for Women’s retreats. Tracee was made for speaking. She has pursued and cared about the hearts of people since she popped out of the womb. Tracee cares deeply about the heart and story of other people. 
When it comes to areas of passion, Tracee enjoys speaking on topics including: leadership development, cultivating character, second mile living, identity in Christ, and carrying the weight of your influence well. Her heart is all about empowering people to follow after God in a real and authentic way.
What a great point Tracee, as another member of the “Bad at Receiving” club I am totally learning to take my “self” out of the equation and graciously accept whatever He brings my way.  Thank you so very much for sharing your heart so transparently with us today…you are truly a special treasure to Him.
The Godly Gals adventure is starting it’s second year in full swing.  I pray you are being blessed by these “Real Women, Real Life, Real Faith” in action stories.  There’s so much more to come.  If you are interested in writing something for the series, then please send me an email at melsworldministry {at} gmail {dot} com for a copy of the submission guidelines.

I look forward to hearing from you!

post signature