Is it me or are there just days where you just are in a “reflective” mood? I mean you are content, you are peaceful, and yet there is a longing that just drives you to stop and try and figure it out. The only problem is that most of the time we don’t really know what “IT” is, do we?
For all intense and purposes everything is good. You can’t even list all the blessings in your life because they are too numerous and yet there “IT” is again, nagging you, almost like a dog that is on a long chain in the yard. Everything is good when the doggie is within the range of his leash, but as soon as he drifts a little too far he is yanked back into her predetermined amount of space.
Hum…what does that mean?
I have been blessed with a season of REST (like I spoke a little about in the Speak to My Soul Sunday post) for the last 9 months. What started out as hurtful, ugly, and full of pain has turned out to be a season of tremendous spiritual growth, discipline, and love. I liken it to Joseph when he said, Genesis 50:20, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” And yet I am very clear in the fact that my life is worth nothing without God in it.
I know that God has called me to teach, preach, write, and share the gospel with others. I know that He gave me gifts, talents, and skills that I will need to get there, and yet I am plagued with questions, “What if”, “How”, “Why me”, etc. My heart’s desire is to serve Him passionately with every bit of my heart and soul, and yet at the same time I just don’t know if it is really God calling me to that or my own fleshly desire. I long to be used by Him, and yet doubt my own abilities to be a vessel that He could or would use.
I am a HUGE believer in God speaking to us through our DREAMS. One of my favorite sayings is “Dream Big, God does” (I wrote that believe it or not) and yet why is it that we let fear, anxiety, and doubt hold us back?
I can’t quite figure out why there is this “covered road map” in my life, but I know that God is not finished with me and while I sit and figure out how, why, what, and all the other questions that go along with it, I have to rest in the fact that He, the Creator of the Universe, in His infinite wisdom knew that I would wrestle with this almost my whole life. I have always known there is still a part of my life that has not been started yet, now I get to sit, dream, pray, and wait for God to show me what is next.
What about you?
I guess my question to you would be this…
What is that GOD SIZED DREAM that you have on your heart?
What’s stopping you from going after it?
This is a safe place…I would love to share in your DREAMS and encourage you to chase after them…I know it can be hard, and even scary to write them down, but acknowledging them can be the first step towards the beginning of an amazing journey.