Transparent Tuesday – It’s Just Me…

It’s Just Me…

I have been thinking a lot, tons even, about this and I have to tell you that here is yet another “Transparent Tuesday” that scares the living daylights out of me. Why is it so hard to be “real” and “transparent”? Why do we, as Christians, like to where the mask that “everything is ok”?

I see it all the time…as a Pastor people open up to me, usually within minutes, and I know that they have been “waiting” to talk to someone who will not judge them, persecute them, or make them feel worse than they already do. I, by no means, have the answers and never (ever) claim to, but I do try to go into every encounter with people (anyone really) with an open mind and a loving word.

I know that I too struggle with wearing the “everything’s ok” hat and have more than once said the words but silently in my head I am screaming, no, everything’s not ok, please listen to me. It’s that cry deep down inside our hearts that longs to have someone care enough to stop and say, “You know what, I can “tell” something’s up and I am here if you want to talk.” That’s it. No magic formula, no special words, just someone taking the time to stop in the middle of their world to help out a brother or sister in Christ.

This has been my desire for so long I am not even sure when it started for me…was it when I became a Christian, when I became a Ministry Leader, a Pastor, a mom, a wife, a sister…when??? There are SO many times I can “feel it” when I am around someone who is hurting, and I have to tell you that since I have stepped out of “paid professional ministry” (not that I wouldn’t mind being paid for the ministry God has called me to, it’s just not right now) I have been able to be more strategic and more purposeful in my ministry. It’s almost like a “street evangelism” type ministry for me now…every day I pray and ask God where He wants me to go and who He wants me to talk to and I do it. It’s not always comfortable and not always convenient, but if I ask I better be ready to follow through, don’t ya think?

My point is this…you don’t have to be a paid staff member at a church to be “in ministry” for the Kingdom. It has been my experience recently that you are so much more effective and more balanced when you just simply “Follow Him”. That’s all He has asked us to do anyways, right? Ministry is something each and every one of us are called to do…right?

So, here I am Lord, send me.

That’s what I pray each and every day, and when I do I know that my day is directed by the Creator of the Universe.

The great thing about that also is that I have applied this same principle in my new travel business. I know that God laid it in our laps “for such a time as this” and I am so thankful to be able to be in business for myself, help support the family financially, and also stay true to who I am in Him. I can share what I know and learn about owning a home based business with others, not to shove it down their throat, but to teach others how to be smarter with their money, wiser with their resources, and also to help them find a place where they can bloom and grow (in business and in Him).

You see, I lost that for a bit…I lost who I was in Him, and I am just now finally realizing that in Him I am “fearfully and wonderfully made”. I can’t be someone else, I need to be ME…He made me, and who am I to say that there is anything wrong with that.

I am confident in my calling to minister to others, to preach, teach, and share the gospel, I know that He has called me to teach others how to “Passionately Pursue God’s Purpose Every Day” and I know that even on the days when I begin to doubt myself, that by claming my birthright I can begin again.

Thank God that He knows just how much I struggle with this, because anyone other than God would have been frustrated and given up on me long ago.

I am not perfect, I am not done growing, but I am FREE in Christ, and can rest peacefully in His Word.

I don’t know about you…but I am ready to just be me!

Just Being ME,


  1. I’m so glad you are YOU! A real sweetheart and child of God. Thanks for being my friend.


    (your sweet package arrived today…thank you, thank you, thank you)

  2. I really know what you mean on different levels. There is a female assoc. pastor at our church who seems to know what’s going on in my head… and will call out of the blue and just say, “I know and I’m praying for you now.” It means a lot. I get caught up in the busy life, and also putting on my OK hat! I remember telling a minister that I couldn’t wait to come out of our situation so we could start being used as tools for God and he said, “why wait, ask God to use you now. Everyday.” I have. I don’t know why I thought I had to wait.

  3. what a timely post!

    “HereI am,Lord,send me” is about my favorite verse.

    I will start again praying what you do. I used to pray that.

  4. I have the oppisite issue – I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve & people don’t know what to do with that.
    I usually answer ‘ok’ because I can tell that the person is not really asking if I’m ok, they are just speaking their part of the small-talk script & I’m to follow along.
    I have deviated from this script many times & had the other person be like, ‘oh well, I’m sure you’ll be better soon’ or ‘just that issue that all moms of young kids have’ or whatever.
    I SO appriciate my friends who truly want to know & won’t take the usual ‘ok’ as an answer. I know they love me no matter what. They’ve seen the good, the bad & the ugly parts of me & they love me anyway.
    Now I’m missing my Cle Elum sisters I visited over fathers day weekend.

  5. Hi Mel …

    Just back from Europe and wildly jetlagged … so a bit hard to string together coherent thoughts! Packing to fly to USA today! So anyway … great post! I just had this discussion (in part) with a friend yesterday. I think the heart is, we are wired to connect with one another … to be in relationship and not a lot of people are doing that these days as we get so caught up in the land of ‘busy’.

    People need to know that they are not just another faceless person in the crowd … that they matter. Its very hard to drop the masks when there is not relationship and people are on the fly.

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